Shakespeare? Bitch, Sit Down!
Now that y’all know I’m related to Shakespeare, can I please play Hamlet — for realz?
No, actually that one is not really for real. I’m too old to play Hamlet and, really, who wants to work that hard? I’ve caught shade my whole career from harsh ass critics (the kind who write reviews) who didn’t think anyone darker than Laurence Olivier in blackface should do “the classics.” What, somehow because Black people didn’t originate from the country that Shakespeare came from, we somehow will never be able to catch a beat? Has anyone heard of Def Poetry Jam?
Wealthy Africans traveled and hung out England in the 1500s, including at the royal court. Black people are also kick ass poets—the kind “regular” folks flock to listen too. What you think made groundlings rush the stage except those King’s Players could spit fire like Tech Nine? White people gas about Black people’s natural rhythm and bust on they self they ain’t got none. What? Suddenly, talking in rhythm, White people can keep a beat? No! It don’t work like that. Once corny, corny for life. Move.
No, but serious, y’all. There’s assumptions about who owns Anglo-culture. [Assuming an affectation] Only a finely attuned ear (pronounced AY-uh), palette or eye, can appreciate the works of the “Masters!” Puh-leez! Western culture thrives on appropriation, claiming to improve everything it touches (waters down). A non-Westerner borrows from the classical canon and you’d think White folks were at a grade school dance recital (“Aren’t they so cute!”). Ahem...Hamilton.
Bitchez, y’all all come from Africa. Anything you do was already stole. You was stole! If you weren’t born in the cradle of civilization you’re an immigrant. You just forgot where your ass came from. There’s even (gasp!) Africans born with blonde hair, without European intervention (look up Melanesians). Not to boast, but everything was in Africa before it went out into the world, including language. Facts.
I’m a raise hell, now. “What? you’re not a direct descendant and you’re doing Shakespeare? Bitch, sit down!”
