Step Ten: Patching The Leaks

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, y’all — for realz!

Step Ten: “Continued to take inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

Imma tell y’all a little parable for this one. A man who lived on a ship had the worst “luck.” Everyday he would cry out, “I’m taking on water! I sink! I sink!” Every mah fuggah would row out to this mo fo boat to rescue him, bail the water out and patch up whatever was leaking. He’d be all grateful and thank folks, but everybody knew they’d be at it again the next day.

One curious neighbor asked, “Why don’t you get a new boat?”

“Never!” the man says, “This boat’s been in my family for generations. I could never give her up.” That sounded reasonable to the person asking and they went on about they business, but sure as shit, the next day the old man was carrying on and crying for help from everybody. “I sink! I sink! Alack the day, I sink!” Everyone rowed out as they did everyday to help this poor miserable sucker.

Then the same curious neighbor asked, “Why don’t you tie the boat in a shore? You could pull her into the shallows and not have to worry about taking on water.” To this the old man put up another fuss.

“How I do love the sea. I could never live on land. I’d rather sink than do that. Let me die before I’m a land-lover.”

It sounded reasonable, so the curious neighbor left it alone. But the next day the ola man was out there taking on water and crying for help from his neighbors. Being good neighbors they towed out, bailed him out and patched the leaky places.

Finally, that curious neighbor had enough and decided they were gonna figure out the secret of the old man’s tragic luck. They joined the daily rescue mission, but when everyone else had rowed back to shore this curious one stayed aboard. They hid in corners, but followed the old man watching his every frigging move. The old man was feeble o’ sight and hearing and it was an easy thing to do.

To there shock, the curious neighbor watched all the night through the old man walked up and down the boat, singing and drilling holes in the hull. Finally, after hours of it, and fearing for their own skin, the neighbor who had showed away called out, “Stop, old fool!” The old man stopped in his tracks. The curious neighbor continued, “This is that bad luck? You cry for rescue all day and drill holes by night? Why would you do such a thing?”

The old man replied, “How I do love to drill holes.”